Today I am interviewing our very own Mango Mishra – aka Mishra ji, self proclaimed mango man who claims that no one takes him seriously. Mishra ji is trying to start a new business. Let’s find out what he is up to
AUNTY: What are you doing these days?
MISHRA JI: Writing new sections for the Mahabharata
What the hell does that mean?
The epic is in demand. It is the favorite source to quote for management lessons. Since many people are doing this, the epic is running out of sections to quote from.
But this is dishonest. People will find out.
Our epics have so many versions. We will claim that a particular reference is from an obscure version found recently. Besides, hardly anyone has read the full thing.
I see. What exactly are you writing?
I am writing that both Kauravas and Pandavas were PE funded. The idea was to get people so used to killing that later they would pay you to kill. The flow of money would reverse. Imagine a billion Indians paying to kill.
How do you know India had a billion people that time.
I don’t. But one can always say that most of them got killed. It’s a self fulfilling theory.
Neat. So as usual the lesson is that we Indians have been doing everything for centuries that the world is doing now?
Exactly. Now don’t waste my time. I need to market this new section to Linkedin influencers.
I thought they were the ones who asked you to write all this.
Not yet. It’s all a push strategy right now. I pay them to post it. Once they get used to it, they will buy it from me at any cost.
What if they stop buying when it becomes expensive?
We are starting to patent all epics around the world. Soon no one will be able to quote from them without our consent.
People can quote from their life experiences.
We will make the epics so comprehensive that they will cover all life experiences. We can sue users for plagiarism
You will never get away with this.
Careful. That line was used by Duryodhan against Bheem when he was unfairly attacked on his thighs. I will allow you one copyright violation because you are a friend
You have lost it!
Said Gandhari when she was asked to marry a blind king. That will be $99 in copyright violation please.