You can understand from this conversation that even my wife does not take me seriously. How can I then expect the world to take me seriously.
ME: I am time travelling to the days of the Roman Empire. Do you want anything from there?
WIFE: Olive oil. Extra virgin
There are no virgins in the Roman empire, let alone extra.
Take a selfie with Al Pacino’s younger version.
You have your time lines mixed up. The Roman Empire was a bit more ancient than Al Pacino.
Then just get a Ferrari. It will be so much more affordable at those prices.
Let it be. Where is my toga. I have to blend in with the locals.
What toga? That funny white costume?
White but not funny
I cut it into 4 pieces. One piece is with the car wash guy, another was used to mop the floor today and I have put lentils in the 3rd piece to sprout.
Just curious, what happened to the 4th piece?
The neighbour’s kid took it. She wanted to stitch a toga for her toy Julius Caesar.
Some consolation. Anyway, what am I supposed to wear to the Roman Empire now?
Wear a cargo jacket and cargo trousers. So much more practical
No way. They will think I am a slave being used as a portable storage device, with all those pockets.
But I thought slavery was banned
Let’s not discuss history again. Just give me that white bedsheet with the red border. I will dress up like a Roman senator.
Is that an important position?
Of course. With all my knowledge of their future events I can easily pretend to be a great strategist and visionary. They may even appoint me Caesar
You are getting quite ambitious. You said you are going there to ensure that a certain Indian politician’s son does not get married to an Italian so that we don’t have to suffer their offspring
That is what my boss wants. But he has his timelines mixed up too. Besides, I am made for bigger things. Like becoming Caesar and changing the course of history
How will you achieve that?
I will start a new religion.
You will need a holy book
I am carrying The Godfather. 12 copies. I trust them to make more copies of it.
Your religion is Mafia?
It is the natural progression of the Roman empire. I am just advancing the process.
Is it possible that you won’t return?
It is possible. Is there something you want to say before I leave?
Yes. Text me your e-banking username and password before your own mafia steal it from you.