The Mangoville Space Research Centre is now taking people on a round trip of the earth in a space capsule. I was thrilled and went to their office to buy a ticket. After filling the form I went to the payment counter.
COUNTER: Hey, in this form where you are supposed to mention your gender you have selected “I’d rather not state”
ME: Yes.
But you are clearly a man
You gave me an option and I used it
You have skipped your phone number and address too
Yes. Privacy concerns
And you have pasted a photo of your dog instead of yours
Must have got swapped. I filled up the form during Earth Hour
Why do you keep a passport size photo of your dog?
That is not my dog. In fact that is not even a dog. It’s a coyote
In the section for annual income you have mentioned “I make a lot of money”
Look, I am buying a ticket for space travel. Paying in advance. Why do you need to know my annual income?
Er, because we share these forms with the Income Tax department. They pay us good commission. Hehe
This was supposed to be an anonymous transaction!
LOL. The only thing anonymous these days is the size of your ****
No longer. I posted that on twitter last week.
In the declaration part where you are supposed to state existing medical conditions and fears you have written “Allergic to people with curly hair on their chest”. We were looking for something more relevant to space travel.
Well I do have a fear of flying, of being in confined spaces with strangers, floating in the air and I am absolutely terrified of my rocket being blown to pieces.
Then why are you even buying this ticket?
The alternative is being grounded, strapped to a chair, in company of people I know too well. I prefer the rocket.
You have also skipped the section for travel insurance. Surely such a risky adventure requires travel insurance.
Well, I am not going to lose my baggage in space, and if I get sick it’s not as if you have doctors on board.
I meant life insurance.
What are the odds?
About 70:30
70% that I die?
70% that we don’t know what happened to your rocket and if you are dead or alive
Isn’t that the same as dying? Will you pay out in that case?
No.
Then chuck it. What other issues are there with the form?
None. In fact we are delighted to inform you that we have already received the payment
What? I didn’t authorise any transaction
Your wife did. She used the 20% early bird discount
She is not even travelling.
She isn’t. It’s for your ticket. She’s picked your seat too. It’s the only one which doesn’t come with life saving gear. She got additional 10% off for that. You got quite a bargain I must say.
Aargh. When do we take off? As soon as we have removed the life saving gear from your seat. Bon voyage.