I have a confession to make. I have an elder brother by the name Nefarious Narry, also infamous as Moonshine Narasimha among the local police in Totapuri. Nobody except me knows that he is my brother. And my parents of course. The thing is that Narry was always a bit different. Right from childhood he was over interested in Hollywood Westerns. When everyone was watching Malgudi days and feeling nice, Narry was watching Good, Bad and Ugly but feeling only bad and ugly. On his 12th birthday he stole a pistol from Baiganpally police station and ran away from home. He came back next morning because the pistol was fake. It was kept openly at the police station only to fool thieves like Narry. Baiganpally police has always been good with decoys. Sometimes I think they don’t even have any real weapons or ammo.
Disappointed Narry did not eat for one whole day. Mother even made sweet brinjal porridge with bitter gourd payasam, even then he refused to eat. His gunslinging dreams had been crushed. But only temporarily. After two weeks he fled from the house again. A nearby dhaba owner said that he saw a kid hitch a ride on a truck heading towards Totapuri. Next morning the truck driver was found gagged and most of the cargo had been stolen. When asked who did this to him, the answer was clear – it was Narry and this time he wasn’t carrying a fake pistol but a jackfruit with which he had threatened to crush the truck driver’s head. The cargo being carried that night was liquor bottles. It was reported in all the newspapers and I even remember the headlines
Narry made so much money from that liquor heist, he decided to establish himself in the liquor business. Now he operates illegal plants where he manufactures fake Jack Daniels and Johnny Walker whiskies. My father decided not to drink these brands after he came to know about Narry’s nefarious activities. Its a different thing that he could not afford the real drink in any case. But since Narry started this business, sales of Jack Daniels and Johnny Walker have skyrocketed. Local politicians are happy that we are not spending precious foreign exchange on importing this stuff. They have helped Narry become some sort of forex Robin Hood by not just endorsing his business but encouraging their followers to become like Narry by constantly promoting the hashtags #gentlemannarry and #narrywalker in unrelated tweets about onion prices.
The Supreme Leader is anti-poor. He needs to step down immediately. Buy liquor only from #gentlemannarry
– Bobby Bahubali
Onion prices are killing the common people. This is tyranny. Best whiskey available at #narrywalker
– Cookie Chaudhary
I have often wondered why Narry ran away from home. When I tried to fill up the self assessment sheet my school provides to parents every year, it looked like this.
Nothing in this sheet would have indicated that Narry is the reason sheets like these exist in the first place. My guess is that reverse psychology was at play. Narry felt too happy at home and wanted some unhappiness. Like those kids in TV serials these days who are always unhappy and talking rudely. This whole thing about disturbed childhood was very integral to Narry’s thinking. He thought if has to become a big mafia don, he needs to have a disturbed childhood. I am sure that when his cronies ask him about his younger days, Narry tells them all nonsense. Some journalist types have also become his friends and keep pushing lies about his difficult upbringing. Ok, in hindsight I believe mother could have served something better than bitter gourd payasam and sweet brinjal porridge on that fateful night, but its not as if we were feeding that kind of abomination to Narry every day.
But it is not all bad. I have been able to strike friendship with Baby Malini only because of my brother. Lately she was having some trouble with Rickshaw Rowdy who was telling his driver friends to overcharge her. I told Rowdy that Nefarious Narry is my brother and since that day he hasn’t bothered her. All the times I have helped Baby Malini in repairing her laptop, recovering her lost Instagram photos, climbing down from the balcony, nothing worked. But that one day I put Rowdy in his place, she agreed to go with me for coffee.
My happiness was short lived. Since that coffee shop visit I am bankrupt again. I need to do more odd jobs to recover the money I spent. Malini is not going to pay me. Her dad Mishra ji doesn’t pay either. I think I need to check with the Supreme Leader if he needs something to be repaired. Or maybe I will send him some phishing link and infiltrate his laptop.
One of the reasons inspector Macho Murugan dislikes his Totapuri counterpart Jolly Reddy is Jolly’s connections with Nefarious Narry and how he helps him in bootlegging. For the record, Murugan was first posted in Totapuri, but he was always dreaming about movies and beating up gangsters, so Narry had him transferred.
– Supreme Leader