Humans should have an option of adding a detachable stomach. With so much there to eat it is simply not possible with one digestive system. And since it is very difficult and impractical to replicate the entire digestive system, I think a detachable stomach is a good start. Imagine that your body has a binge mode that you can switch on. And when you do that, anything that you eat goes into the detachable stomach, which you can empty after you are done. Your tongue cravings will be satisfied and you will not get fat also. Scientists should invent such useful things instead of wasting time on finding ways to settle Martian colonies. But as usual Supreme Leader is playing the party pooper by saying that this will lead to food price inflation because everyone will eat more than necessary and the poor will suffer. That only the rich will be able to afford it and they will eat up all the food. I am feeling so guilty after hearing all this that I have abandoned the idea.
But abandoning the idea of detachable stomach does not mean that I have stopped being a greedy pig. Since Ramzan started I have been salivating at street food videos showing rows of kabab shops grilling meat. I always end up watching such videos when I have nothing more than a green apple in my own refrigerator. This is torture which I continue to inflict upon myself. So last Sunday I decided to skip lunch, basically starve myself and visit the famous Masjid Street of Baiganpally to make the most out of the outing.
When I reached Masjid Street, it appeared as if entire Baiganpally was there. Old people, kids, thin people, fat people, rich people, poor people, men, women, hungry, not hungry. Starving myself was a good idea, but even if I hadn’t I could always make room for this stuff. Now another challenge faced me – FOMO. What to eat and what to skip for next visit. Yes to seekh kabab and no to haleem? Upvote for Mughlai paratha and downvote for shawarma roll? Yay chicken Mandi and nay bheja fry? In coconut pudding and out phirni? I had to make choices quickly otherwise I would faint on the street and be run over by a tempo in this madness.
In the end it was easy. All I had to do was to calm down and take a deep breath. Then close my eyes and go with the first 4 images that came to mind. This was the result.
In the end I didn’t die of hunger but I was walking so slowly after eating all of it that I almost got run over by a tempo while crossing the road. My Youtube induced cravings had been satisfied for a week. But past record shows that this feeling lasts only 2 days and I would be back to binging on street food videos. It is Sunday again tomorrow and I again plan to starve myself, this time starting from Saturday night itself, so that more justice can be done to the food. A part of my says to attack on Saturday itself, but in this case justice delayed is not justice denied, so I will wait it out. Supreme Leader tells me self control is a good thing. He doesn’t have much to do so he promotes his own boring lifestyle as minimalist and all about ‘self-control’. Maybe Aunty Opinion, Rickshaw Rowdy and Snoopy Susie are right and we need to change the President.