Before anyone asks me, let me clarify. I am not a Rajnikant fan. Now that we have it out of the way, I will tell you something about myself. I was born in Gobichettypalayam taluk. Have you ever heard of the place? Good. I hadn’t heard of it either, until my mother told me. All I know is that they do movie shooting there. When I was a small kid she ran away from home with me and came to Baiganpally. My father is a drunkard and a Rajnikant fan. Since that day I decided I will not be a Rajnikant fan. That does not mean I was not interested in movies. On the contrary, I wanted to work in movies. I wanted to do police inspector roles like Jagadish anna and inspector Iftikhar gaaru. In those days police inspectors in movies were having respect and style. Could anyone accuse them of taking bribes?
Even though I have lot of styles, I am having hard time getting respect in Baiganpally. People are not taking me seriously because of my obsession with movies. Thanks to Salman Khan, they are thinking all police inspectors are like Chulbul Pandey. They also think I cannot solve any crimes. There are hardly any crimes in Baiganpally. Everyone is so afraid of me, they are afraid to commit crimes. I am told that we are like Japan and if our crime rate keeps coming down, we will have no need for the police.
Macho Murugan will give you a lot of bull about how crime rate is low in Baiganpally, and how high it is in neighbouring Totapuri, where his rival Jolly Reddy is the inspector. Don’t believe him
– Supreme Leader
If they decide to remove police force, what will I do for a living sir? They are not giving me roles in movies also. Last time there was a movie shooting I had gone to the sets. They said they have no need for a police inspector. That they only need a police Commissioner and some constables. That is so stupid. Tell me, do police Commissioners drop from the sky? They were also junior officers at some point of time. I know I am younger and more macho than old Commissioners, but they could have applied some make up to me. How can there be a movie without police inspector? Do you expect Commissioner to give orders like “Shinde, Jeep nikalo, Chaurasia paan waale ka dukaan mein chori ho gaya hai”
I know what they want. I was watching crime shows on Netflix. These new police inspectors are very different sir. They are very serious and always drinking heavily after work. They also don’t have good relations with their wives so they are taking out all their frustrations on criminals by beating them badly in lockup. One fine day some good looking woman officer is joining the police force and the inspector is having soft corner for her. How can I become like these new police inspectors? If I tell my wife I want to drink and have bad relations with her and hang out with lady police, she will send me back to Gobichettypalayam. Until my father is still living there I don’t want to go back there. I heard he has done second marriage also, without divorcing my mother. Such a criminal he is is. I will have him arrested for polygamy. Good idea. At least then I can say I am doing some work and then they will not close down the police department.